As you may remember, we applied to a major scholarship from Go Overseas a couple of months ago.
When I was in undergrad, it felt like funding was nearly unlimited. There were scholarships, grants, and loans galore.
While trying to fund our graduate, everything is easily covered by loans (because higher education in Ireland is incredibly affordable), and, while we have had some scholarships, they don’t even approach covering the cost. It’s hard not to feel like a failure. It’s hard not to see the gifts I believe I have as worthless when no one seems to believe they are worth anything.
When I was young, life was hard and I had little to no control. As I grew up, I learned the value of hard work; I believed that if I put in enough work, I would succeed. Maybe that’s still true in the long run, but it’s hard to trust in at these points in time.
I realize that at this point that I’m having a bit of a dark night of the soul moment, but I can remind myself that there is more than just a scholarship where only one person per university wins. I do believe that I have gifts; I believe that God looked into the world and said, “And they need a Blake here…” (A beautiful reminder from my Aunt Donna).
Thank you all for reading this and loving us from afar.
Patreon Executive Producer: Cindy Horn